


I can't decide suddenly. I don't know.

by ikilledlaurapalmer



Series: klance fics that are named after iconic mariah moments for some reason [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, BUT LIKE THE TINIEST BIT, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), in all caps, like PINING, seriously it's basically nonexistent, they are so awkward help them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 15:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9448781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikilledlaurapalmer/pseuds/ikilledlaurapalmer
Summary: Keith liked to think of himself as a fairly decisive person. So, when he realized he might have been developing, um, feelings for a certain blue paladin, he felt like the rug was swept out from under him. He wasn’t used to feeling unsure, uncertain.keith likes lance. keith confesses to lance. it goes as well as one would expect.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is a sister fic to my first one, "Lady Luck? I don't know her". i wanted to elaborate on the confession scene that i just briefly mentioned in that fic. hope you enjoy!! p.s. your comments & kudos mean the world to me <3
> 
> another mariah carey meme title cuz i'm trash 
> 
> let's be mutuals: sailor-saturnus.tumblr.com

Keith liked to think of himself as a fairly decisive person. Whether it was in training or in actual battle, he had no trouble making split-second calls and acting on instinct. He was used to relying on his reflexes, used to knowing what to do, even if it was subconsciously. So, when he realized he might have been developing, um, _feelings_ for a certain blue paladin, he felt like the rug was swept out from under him. He wasn’t used to feeling unsure, uncertain. He wasn’t used to being indecisive. And yet, here he was, seated by himself in one of the palace’s side rooms, staring out the window and wondering just how he was going to finagle his way out of this situation.

Because that’s what it was. A situation. A situation that needed to be solved, needed to be gotten rid of. He couldn’t keep on feeling like this, unsure of himself with every step that he took. Shiro was beginning to take notice. Yesterday, Keith had missed an easy shot at the training gladiator, and ended up getting knocked on his ass. The other paladins were all too engaged in their own fights to notice, but Shiro, who had been observing their training, raised his eyebrows in question. Keith stood up, huffed, and stormed out of the room, making a beeline to the showers in an effort to clear his head. It hadn’t worked, and he had left feeling even worse, albeit a bit more damp.

Now, sitting alone with the blank expanse of space before him, he had no choice but to confront his thoughts. When had this whole thing started? He couldn’t put an exact finger on it, but he remembered an incident about a month ago. Said incident involved Lance jokingly slinging his arm around Keith’s shoulders and reenacting his previous flirtations with an alien girl. The other paladins had just laughed along with Lance, but Keith had felt his face heat up in a way that it never had before. This moment was the first in which he felt unsure, and he hated it.

From there, his uncertainty had only escalated. Any time that Lance would so much as _glance_ in Keith’s direction, Keith’s heart would speed up. Any time Lance threw out that oh-so-perfect smile in response to something Keith said, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. And any physical contact, even the slightest of touches, would have Keith’s exterior matching that of the Red Lion. He was so far gone on Lance and he hated the fact that he couldn’t seem to make himself come back.

So, yeah. He needed to deal with this situation. And he needed to do it sooner rather than later, because at this rate, he was sure he would internally combust within the month. There was only one true way to get around this, and that was to tell Lance. Keith knew full well that he was the last person Lance would ever have romantic interest in, but he felt that if Lance knew, he would be able to get over it easier. At least that’s what he told himself as he set about plotting his confession.

 

✦ ✦ ✦

 

If he was going to do this, he wanted to do it right. Keith spent the remainder of that night and a majority of his time in the days that followed planning out his speech. He decided that he wouldn’t beat around the bush, that he would get straight to the point and not waste either of their time. He thought a good opening line would be something like, _Hey, Lance. Have you ever liked someone that didn’t like you back?_ , because it would take the pressure off of Lance to reciprocate his feelings. However, where he would go after that, he had no clue. He could try something more humorous, like, _Of course you know that feeling! Allura has turned you down… how many times now?,_ but that didn’t seem like him. He thought of taking the more serious route, baring it all and confessing how _every time I’m around you my breath hitches and my heart pounds out of my chest and ends up in my throat and I don’t know how I’ve survived this long without telling you how beautiful you are,_ but Keith sincerely doubted his ability to be able to pull that off without turning into a stuttering mess. So, feeling just as unsure as ever, he mulled over various possibilities for the next three days. Each option he came up with didn’t feel right. It was either too emotional, or too robotic. Too sloppy, or too structured. Too risky, or too cryptic.

Keith sighed and allowed his head to drop into his hands. How had one boy made him so uncertain? So full of a sense of self-doubt that he had never experienced before? After a couple more hours of contemplation, Keith decided to go with a simple, _I like you, in a romantic way, and I just thought that you should know, since we’re teammates and all._ It wasn’t perfect, but nothing that had to do with Keith and Lance ever was, so he figured it would make do. Tomorrow, he would confess to Lance and hope that he wouldn’t end up destroying the already fragile companionship they had developed since first forming Voltron.

 

✦ ✦ ✦

 

Lately, Keith had come to accept the fact that he was slowly morphing into an indecisive person. He knew that whenever Lance was in the picture, he couldn’t think straight, couldn’t rely on his instincts to carry him forward. However, he had greatly underestimated the extent to which Lance made him hesitant. He had a fire lit underneath him when he woke up that morning, determined to find Lance and immediately confess his love. He got out of bed, stretched, changed into his go-to red jacket, and set off to find the other boy. Normally, Keith would be up and at'em way before Lance, but he had purposefully slept later in hopes that he would only have to deal with his pent up emotions for the short period of time between when he woke up and when he told Lance about his... situation.

Keith searched throughout the castle, but he had yet to find any sign of Lance. He found Hunk in the kitchen, making some sort of casserole with the food goo. He assumed that Hunk would know where Lance was, seeing as though they were best friends, but Hunk told him that he hadn’t seen Lance since the previous night. Continuing on in his search, Keith came across Pidge in the control room, their nimble fingers typing away vigorously at one of the computers. When asked about Lance’s whereabouts, Pidge simply shook their head, not even bothering to turn away from the screen. Clearly not getting any more information from them, Keith sighed and headed to the training deck. Again, no sign of Lance, but Shiro was there, getting in some early practice before the team trained together later that afternoon.

Shiro spotted Keith as soon as he walked in the door. Wiping the sweat from his brow and standing up straight, he said, “Hey, Keith. What’s up?”

“Um, have you seen Lance? I really need to talk to him,” Keith replied, shifting uneasily from foot to foot.

Shiro must have noticed that something was bothering Keith, because his next question was, “What do you need to talk to him about?”

And _that_ was the exact question that Keith was hoping he wouldn’t ask. Trying to play it cool, Keith responded with a simple, “Nothing important,” before going on to add, “But have you seen him?”

Shiro could still tell that something was up, but he also recognized the fact that whatever it was, Keith was not open to discussing it. He decided to let it go… for now.

“Yeah, last I knew he was in the room off the side of the main deck. Ya’ know, the one to the left.”

Keith smiled a tight-lipped, awkward smile and squawked out a “Thanks!” before running out the door in pursuit of Lance.

 

✦ ✦ ✦

 

Once he found Lance, Keith was only sure of one thing: that he had never felt so absolutely unsure in all his life.

Lance was standing by himself near the room’s floor-to-ceiling window, staring out into space. Keith should’ve known he would find him in a place like this. Lance got homesick a lot, and he would often stare at the planets as they drifted by, lost in thought and missing Earth.

Since Lance had his back to the door, Keith coughed to get his attention. It was a weak, graceless cough that sounded as if one of the castle mice was trying to claw its way out of Keith’s throat, but it did the trick. Lance turned around, but before he could open his mouth to speak, Keith was striding towards him. He planted his feet firmly in place, his face just inches from Lance’s, and began his carefully planned speech.

Except nothing came out.

“Keith, um, do you need something?” Lance’s face was scrunched up in a quizzical expression.

It took a few seconds, but finally, Keith found his voice.

“Hey Lance! HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE THAT DIDN’T LIKE YOU BACK?” He practically shouted his confession, and he could feel his face start to heat up from embarrassment.

“Um, I guess? I mean--,” The expression on Lance’s face was now one of pure confusion.

Keith took a deep breath, and without thinking, blurted out, “OfcourseyouknowthatfeelingAllurahasturnedyoudowneventhoughyou’rebeautifulgodIwannastrangleyoubutIalsowannakissyouohmygod.”

“Uh… what?” was all Lance managed to say before Keith cut him off again.

“Ugh, jeez, I didn’t mean-- I didn’t mean for that to happen, my confession was gonna be all smooth and suave, and I was gonna do it in a way that didn’t make you hate me but I guess I goofed that up because _I_ hate me after saying that-- and… and…,” Keith’s breathing became shallow as his body began to rack with sobs. Here he was, spilling his guts to the only boy he had ever loved, and he had royally screwed up. There was no way Lance would ever take him seriously again. Keith stared at the floor, unable to meet the blue paladin’s gaze.

Instead of scoffing, however, Lance gently brought his left hand up and placed it underneath Keith’s chin, tilting his head back a bit so that Keith had no choice but to look at him.

“Hey, Keith, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? I-- I--,” Keith tried to force the words out of his mouth between the shuddering breaths he was taking. “I just told you about my stupid crush on you, and now-- now-- now it’s gonna ruin everything and we won’t be able to form Voltron… and I get it if you hate me, I would hate me, too, I kind of already hate myself and--”.

Keith wasn’t able to continue on with his stammering, bumbling, horrifically mortifying stream of consciousness, because at that moment, Lance had brought his other hand up to Keith’s cheek in order to cup his face with both hands, and kissed him.

The kiss was slow, and sweet, and just what Keith needed. He slowly uncurled the fists that had been clenched at his sides, but by the time he brought his arms up to loop around Lance’s neck, the other boy had already pulled back, and was now just smiling at Keith with a dopey look on his face.

Again, Keith couldn’t seem to find his voice.

“Did you really think I would hate you? Jeez, Keith, come on. I could never hate you,” Lance smiled endearingly at Keith, before his face broke out into a smirk. “Besides, who could resist me, right? I’ll admit you’re pretty cute, but I’ve gotta be a solid 10.”

Even though that compliment was a bit backhanded, Keith burned up at it nonetheless. He punched Lance lightly on the arm, beaming at him the whole time. Lance beamed back, and it was like Keith was staring directly into the sun. It was so bright, he had no choice but to close his eyes, so he did just that, and pulled Lance in for another kiss.

Keith liked to think of himself as a fairly decisive person, and he was positive he had just made the best decision of his life.


End file.
